Where are you... I miss you so much. Why did you leave me here. How can I be without you. I love you. Love you so so much. Dreaming that you are at a better place. At peace. Without pain. God, I am sorry I failed you. You were the light of my days for so many years. You deserved better life but I hope you did not suffer much. Your pure soul was all that kept me from drowning. Now I am lost and hurt. I didn't know it could hurt that much. Trying to live without you seems impossible. How to move on when you were my everything. My thoughts, my work, my day... I returned at the end ...returned every time to you. After all the wounds from life I ran to you. To your quiet but endless eyes. So deeply kind and loving. You had just us and I feel we weren't enough. I feel such hatred for myself for not helping you, not doing something more...anything. Neglect and avoidance...I was afraid to face you those last weeks. And you were suffering. I cannot...
I am just a passive bystander of my own life