How to kill myself. It is no easy task. So many people will be affected. Distance from them is not helping. Is it a cry for help? Is it a truly last ...? I guess not. I am weak. Cannot do it. But then I am a horrible person who doesn't deserve to be here. Don't deserve this life. I thought life would be better after all of that. And it's still happening. It's back. Already know this all by heart. Please make it stop. Let me make it stop. I am tired. Sad. So so broken. Why does it hurt so much. Why have I all these feelings. Why do I feel everything so fucking much. Being here is painful. Self pity? Oh yes. I know her. I hurt those close around me. The innocent souls. I cannot handle it how can I. I feel so much for them yet I do so little for them. I feel like my heart is going to burst. It. Fucking. Hurts. Pathetic. Weak. Stupid.
I am just a passive bystander of my own life